A takin’-names-kickin’-ass blog inspired by
the wankery, pederastery and other assorted antics
of pretentious speakers and writers of English.

LEARN ENGLISH OR STARVE (‘LEOS’) unashamedly trounces all manner of assorted cattle known as grammarfreaks and lingo lolicons to the rest of us normal folks. Engrishfags are not spared either.

Contrary to what the name might indicate, the purpose of this site is to fight stupidity.

Nobody here gives a rat’s arse about politics or religion (or any combination of the two).

Stupidity is the only thing that’s truly offensive in this world.

Stupid people get offended easily because of their tendency to insist on getting respect from others. But insisting is just sulking when there’s incapability to present (let alone argue) a case in a convincing manner.

It’s an attitude deserves no respect — if it deserves anything at all, it’s ridicule or contempt (or both). It’s really ignorance while being literate.

LEOS was invented in the middle of the night on 13th June 2010. When were you invented?

This blog updates every Tuesday at 12 noon UTC.

The blog’s official timezone is UTC +0 hours and the official language is English (predictably). Some posts may exhibit foreign-language tendencies. If the translations are insufferably inaccurate, blame it on Google Translate.


What we do (and don’t do)

If you’re looking for a lighthearted, relaxed, satirical oracle elucidation blog about correct English grammar, you’ve come to the wrong place, sport.

Not a year goes by without some moron(s) going completely OTT (‘over the top’) about something as innocent as an honest spelling or grammar mistake, and going 100% ballistic on the person making it.

This is the site where lulz killers like linguanophiles are fed into the meat grinder, get their comeuppance, at their own game — to show up their own mistakes, lameness or nuclear-warhead-up-the-arse’ness for what they’re worth.

LEOS is to grammarfags what Jason Vorhees of Friday the Thirteenth fame is to … well … grammarfags.

This is where you’ll see people gutted mercilessly — not so much for their [basic-level] language mistakes as more for their hypercorrect faggotry. Either way, their faces get raeped.

In short, we’re civilised people here, so we follow this rule:–

We don’t rob people [their money or self-respect] who can’t afford it,
And we don’t hurt those who don’t deserve it.
So relax.

Let’s not misunderstand, for we’ve been brought up with this other rule too:—

You mess with the bulls, you get the horns.

“Please, cooperate, or we will have to insist.” — North by Northwest (1959).

* * *

Why we do what we do

Mission-wise, LEOS is not about correct textbooky grammar.

It is more about usage that’s practical, practicable and pragmatic while remaining reasonably understandable and grammatically ‘not wrong’ to all.

Read the basic premise of this site here: Statement.

The focus is twofold:—

The ever-sinking PRACTICAL standard of the English language (mainly in Asia but not restricted to it) over the past 20 years or so because of the inane (and sometimes insane) attitudes of teachers and official educational policies.

The ever-growing faggotiscticalisation worldwide of ANY language mainly because of the atavistic and militant tendencies of grammarfreaks stemming from their over-reliance on speculative artefacts and theoretical prognostications from linguistics and sociopsychobabble.

Talk about globalisation; talk about the pathetic results from it. It’s grovelisation more than anything else.

For the time being, LEOS is sussing out grammarfaggotry in the worst-offending places — the Far East and North America. More places to come, mister, and you can bank on it.

English-speaking countries are not off the hook. Indeed, they are raeped even more furiously than foreign-speaking places. How is it that your own language got so bad/wrong/lame/faggoty when you speak it on a daily basis? Namsayin’?


Bottom line?

LEOS attacks pseuds and pedants of language anywhere in the world.

It just so happens the pseuds and pedants seem to congregate in the rarified atmosphere of the academic community and in the rising damp of language teaching throughout Asia. This blog is about bursting the bullshit bubble.

The attacks will be personal, defamatory, hateful and, above all, really fun for the rest of us watching at the sidelines.

As the graphic (to the right) puts it, stupidity will be dealt with accordingly. The thrashing will continue relentlessly until morale and skills improve.

For the avoidance of doubt about our blatant racisim and manifest objectivity and erudition extensive research, we’re [supposedly] also planning another blog called Apprendre le français ou mourir de faim — ‘Learn French or Die Starving’ — or couple of other ones for other languages.

The bottom-bottom line?

In real life, shitloads of bad things are happening right now and all the time. Really, check the news.

Srsly, why take this English crap (or this site) so seriously?

This blog is for idiots like me who enjoy the thrill of taking the mickey or sinking the boot into the kinds of embarrassments, inconsistencies and annoyances of hypercorrection that the most of us are oblivious to. Relax, take a line…


The Management

LEOS has unquestionable expertise in pissing off the pretentious who engage in linguistic pederasty:—

  • Grammarcon — Grammar Control Committee
  • Lexilolibender — Lexilolicon Defiance Bendover Standing Committee
  • Phayleddd — Phayle Discovery and Due Diligence Committee
  • Minitroll — Ministry of Troll Control
  • Miniwax — Ministry of Waxing Lyrical for Self-Ingratiation

Update 25 Aug 2013:— We’ve reorganised and purged the revanchists (because they won’t revise) and the anarchists (because they’re too hidebound). All of the unpurged (and unfed) management members now belong to a single management body known as The Grand Imperial Giraffe of Lazy Ass.



The Author and editor of this blog is Robert Lee (thenakedlistener@gmail.com) for the purpose of copyright and other legal considerations. Any rights not expressed herein are reserved. This blog is non-commercial and is not an editorial product released to the public on a regular basis. Nothing herein licensed under Creative Commons. Some content governed by third-party rights. Excerpts and links permitted, provided that clear byline is given alongside a hyperlink back to the original content. Commercial reproduction is strictly at The Author’s discretion on an individual basis. Comments once published are non-removable even upon request by the original commenter. Use of this blog or site is strictly at your own risk.



Leave comments or hate speech below

© Learn English or Starve, 2010–2017.

Image: The Learn English or Starve group on Facebook (defunct since 2011).

Released 13 June 2010
Updated 29 April 2012
Updated 15 May 2012
Updated 11 Nov 2012
Updated 24 June 2013 (comments enabled, Notice added)
Updated 25 Aug 2013 (minor amendment and rider added)
Updated 15 Feb 2014 (minor text and link updates)
Updated 19 Jun 2017 (minor text and link updates)

One Response “About” →
  1. I was wondering about some crowds shouting “add oil” when we were visiting family in Hong Kong, Searched the web for it and was not disappointed by finding this blog. Hilarious. Thank you.



Your opinion, if you please...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: